I talk about tribalism here from time to time: about our obligation to our tribe, our need to build strong bonds within our tribe. For our ancient ancestors, it was all about the Tribe. You didn’t stand a chance surviving on your own. What I’ve never really expressed was how to determine the actual extent of one’s tribe. Is it your family? Yes, certainly your immediate family, but what about distant cousins you only see every other Christmas or so? Friends? Yes, but friends have varying degree of closness. Your community? Probably, depending on how expansive one defines that word.

Jack Darkhand of the Bivouac recently suggested something in a post that gives us a very useful and clear definition of the extent of our tribe, and is especially useful from a warrior-path prospective:

“Right, Jack. Suppose somebody was tryin’ to kill you with a gun. Do you have the right to shoot back?”

“Well, yeah: that’s what it’s for, right?”

“Fine. Now what if they were tryin to kill a family member? Say your little sister or brother?”

“I hope I would be able to stop them by shooting them.”

“Okay. Now what about a friend of yours? Would you kill to defend a friend?”

“Hmm. Depends on the friend.”

Sam nods. “Now we’re gettin’ somewhere.”

“I mean, if it’s a close friend I think I would treat them like family, act immediately. But there are some other cases in which I’d wonder, how sure am I that this person is actually innocent? How do I know this person didn’t provoke the attack?”

“But if it was your sister you wouldn’t even ask that question.”

“No, probably not.”

Sam smiled. “You see what’s happening, here? You’re defining the limits of your Tribe.”

“My Tribe?” “Yeah – the people closest to you, the ones you’d defend no matter what.”

Who is it that you will, without thought, take extreme risk to protect or to help, without thinking of the possible consequences? That is your Tribe. It is, or should be, a clear, bright line of demarcation, and a group one should be very careful about letting people into. For me, it is certainly my immediate family and a small number of good friends. But, equally importantly, it shows me how many are not in my Tribe that should be: my neighbors, for example. It shows me the importance of building relationships. Tribe should be as much geographical as it is a list of names. Yet another indicator that I need to get to know my neighbors better.