Sun 11 May 2008
Pagans’ Guide to Dealing with Christians
Posted by Fiacharrey under Pagan Community, Paganism
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Most Christians are decent people, just like most of everyone else. Some, though, for religious motivations, seek you out to confront you either to convert you or “expose” you. I’ve identified three categories of these Christian antagonists. This guide is about dealing with them and other Christians you may encounter.
But why deal with them at all? Well, for starters, you don’t have much choice. They are everywhere. There comes a point at which you have to respond at some level. The second reason is to help counter the antagonistic Christians’ influence over interested third parties. The people who are on the fence about religion, who don’t know about Paganism, or may have some fears but are persuadable, these people are your real audience, not the antagonistic Christian you are talking to. Remember this: you will never ever persuade a Christian who accosts you to think any differently than they do, at least not immediately. Yes, down the road, your words and actions may have some impact on them but don’t expect them to. The third reason to deal with them is to blow off steam. It’s understandable and inevitable, as dealing with them can be infuriating, but do be careful with this. If you respond with anger and name-calling, as justifiable as it may be, it may give them more ammunition to use against us all.
Now, let’s look at the types of antagonistic Christians you may have to deal with. I’ve come up with three categories, but they may overlap in individuals. They differ predominately in how Machiavellian the Christian is willing to be in order to achieve his or her goals. To some extent, “the ends justify the means” to all of these Christians, but to what extent and under what circumstances, that is the differentiation used here.
The Jerk
The first type of Christian we will discuss is the Jerk. He is, or can be, actually the most respectable of the bunch because of his honesty. He is rude and confrontational, but you know where you stand. Rational argument is not a good approach here. They won’t understand it and it is only taken as an invitation to be more obnoxious. The best approach is to kill them with kindness. It may cause them to escalate at first, but it will deprive them of their main objective: getting you angry and to be rude back to them. Wish the blessings of your gods upon them, show sympathy for their fear and anger, give them blessings of peace and love. Nothing will piss them off more. Do not respond with anger as it will get you nowhere and can only give them ammunition against you. Politely point out that they are being disrespectful if necessary, but remain polite and dignified.
The Pseudo-Intellectual
The pseudo-intellectual is the polite evangelical who wants to “engage you in meaningful dialogue.” Basically, they’ve memorized a few apologetic arguments and they can’t wait to try them out on you. I don’t like these people very much because they lack integrity, but I appreciate them and often seek them out for debate. Their assurances to the contrary aside, they don’t really want a dialogue, they want to win converts. They will not approach discussion with any kind of desire to learn anything except facts they can try to use against you. They may seem reasonable, but reasonableness would mean that they could be persuaded with reason. They cannot. Though, of course, they expect you to be.
Still, discussing philosophical points with them is a healthy thing as long as you keep in mind that you are not going to “win.” Don’t expect to. The dialogue can still help you in your own growth, to sharpen and strengthen your own philosophy. That’s how I use it, anyway. Also, again, though you will not convince your “opponent” about anything, well reasoned arguments calmly presented may be persuasive to third parties.
Don’t be afraid to “lose” this contest. They’ve come extremely well armed and prepared to argue one or two specific points while you probably are not. Just nod appreciatively and say something like, “That’s a good point. I’ll have to give that more thought.” That should get them off your back for a little while. They can leave feeling good about themselves, and that’s no skin off your nose.
If you want to get better at debating these people, go visit their websites and learn their arguments. A google search for “apologetics” should get you everything you need. There aren’t that many arguments, really, and with a little forethought, they aren’t that difficult to counter. They mainly count on people not being as prepared as they are. But no matter how good you are arguing with them, they will never ever concede a point. Ever. Be prepared to be frustrated.
The Crusader
The crusader is one who is on a mission from God to destroy you. To them, you are not just evil, you are EVIL! What this means is that they will feel justified in using almost any deceit or underhanded tactic, in breaking most any law, and in ignoring most standards of decency in order to advance their “righteous” cause. They might spout what they know to be outright lies and distortions of facts. They might try to “out” you though investigative means so that you can be targeted for vandalism, threats of violence, and smear campaigns to ruin your career or take your children away. I know I sound alarmist, but this is very real.
My general advice in dealing with these people is DON’T! You should avoid them if at all possible. If you do engage them, do so with extreme care and remember that anything you give them, they will twist and pervert and use against you if they can. Don’t get me wrong, they do need to be fought, but it should be left to people who are prepared to take the heat. If you are one of those people, may the Gods bless you, because there are few who are in such a position in their lives.
The Crusaders tend to look like the other two types, but they may do something to tip their hand, at which time you can correct your strategy for dealing with them. The Jerk will be obnoxious, but not overtly threatening. The psuedo-intellectual will be intellectually dishonest, but will not shamelessly lie to you. There are a few other tells. For example, if they ever write EVIL in all capital letters in reference to non-Christians of any sort, they are probably Crusaders. Tread very very carefully with these people as they are mentally unbalanced and dangerous.
The Indifferent
The three categories discussed so far are the Christians who will actively accost you. The indifferent Christian won’t. These are the vast majority of Christians and, because of their numbers alone, you will come in contact with them, probably accidentally, on a daily basis. Until you have evidence to the contrary, assume any Christian you meet falls in this category.
They are indifferent about Paganism, generally, and haven’t given it a whole lot of thought. They go through life assuming all normal people are just like them, and so all normal people are Christians, and see the world though a Christian perspective, just like they do. What little they do know about Paganism is the fear-mongering propaganda sold to them by the Crusaders, so they may have a generally negative initial reaction to anything pagan, but the difference between these people and the three antagonistic types is that they can often be persuaded by reason to give a modicum of tolerance to Pagans.
Note that their indifference to you extends to what they perceive as your civil liberties, too, so you can’t just write them off completely. They are all for religious freedom, but they assume it’s Christian religious freedom. They are all for rights to privacy, rights to raise children in one’s faith, etc., but assume that they are only talking about Christian issues, Christian children. They will, usually inadvertently, leave consideration of your rights out of the equation.
The best tactic to dealing with them is by just showing them you are a person too, just like they are. Let them see how “normal” and human you are. Be honest and courteous. Cut them some slack; forgive their blunderous faux-pas’. Remember that Paganism is completely alien to them and more than a little scary, so be gentle.
Lastly, don’t try to get their respect for your religious views. It’s asking too much. Their worldview simply does not permit them to consider any other religion as “equally valid.” They will probably always think you are a little nuts, a little weird, and basically “wrong.” You will have to live with that. What we are shooting for with these people is tolerance. That is not the same as respect. Tolerance is when you think someone is wrong, and you let them be wrong. You “tolerate” their mistakes. We have a right to tolerance and to be respected as humans, if not as Pagans. Just remember: to get tolerance and civility, you have to give it, too. And, fair or not, you will be called to show tolerance and civility a lot more often than they will. Hopefully, together, we can work towards a more tolerant, pluralistic society. Just be ready to have to do most of the work.
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